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Women's suicide prevention hub - domestic abuse & violence
Domestic violence or abuse can be defined as a pattern of behaviour in any relationship used to gain or maintain power and control through physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, background, gender identity, sex, religion, sexual orientation or ethnicity. It is a criminal offence in the UK, but 49 countries across the world have no specific laws against domestic violence.
Domestic violence ⏐Menopause & perimenopause⏐ Perinatal⏐ Postpartum⏐ Childhood abuse⏐Eating disorders⏐ Sexual violence ⏐ Pre-menstrual
In partnership with Advance
Liz Mack, CEO of Advance
“Improvements in data and recording now show the awful reality of the prevalence of women’s deaths due to suicide, as a direct result of domestic abuse. Domestic Abuse has long lasting, and often devastating effects on mental health, both for the women experiencing it, and their children.
Women and families need access to community support services in safe, gender informed spaces to address their needs, alongside access to counselling to address their experiences of trauma and abuse. Recovery is a personal journey, where support needs to be available for as long as it is needed, and not restricted to a crisis intervention.”
Are you struggling?
If someone is or was controlling your behaviour in any way, it is, or was, abuse. This is a traumatic experience. Remember, this is not your fault, and it is a crime in the UK. Your abuser may have created an environment of fear for you, your children, or your family members. They may have cut off access to money, destroyed connections with people who care about you, and said or done things that reduced your confidence and self-esteem. All these actions are abusive. It’s important to remember that good, healthy relationships make you feel safe, accepted, happy, supported and cared for.
There is no shame in what you have been through, and you are not alone. The Centre for Domestic Violence states that one in five adults experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. It is important to reach out and get support – it is estimated that 30 women a week attempt suicide because they feel hopeless and feel like they have no options, and the situation is unbearable. Please remember there is a way out and there is help available.
Stay Alive app
Download our NHS recommended app if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or concerned about someone. There are over 800 resources to help you stay safe for now.
Advance
Advance offer a range of different online, phone and text services. They can also help with explaining legal rights, social care, helping you get safer housing and supporting you through court.
Women's Aid Live Chat
A confidential live chat to explore safe options if you are experiencing or are worried about abuse. Available 8am-6pm weekdays and 10am-6pm weekends.
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (UK)
A free, 24-hour helpline and online chat (chat available Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm) for people experiencing domestic abuse:
The Bright Sky app
App and website with practical support and information about domestic abuse. It is designed for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or anyone who is worried about a friend, family member, or colleague:
Are you supporting someone?
Last year 2.1 million people aged 16 and over were victims of DVA (1.4 million women and 751,000 men). It is estimated that every day almost 30 women attempt suicide because of experiencing domestic abuse and every week three women take their own lives (National Centre for Domestic Violence).
Signs someone may be experiencing domestic abuse include unexplained bruises, withdrawal, lack of access to money or tech and defending, or avoiding discussions about, their partner. If you notice these signs in someone, it is important to approach the topic directly and compassionately and signpost to appropriate help. Be careful to act in ways that keep them safe.
Toolkit for professionals
The University of Warwick has compiled a guide for people who work with those at risk of or experiencing DVA.
Train with us
This insightful training session is designed to equip professionals and volunteers with the knowledge and basic skills needed to support people at increased risk of domestic abuse and suicidality.
Employers
Women’s Aid have a service for professionals who may be supporting survivors of domestic abuse:.
Toolkit for professionals
This resource details employers’ responsibilities to staff at risk, and what is required by law.
Recognising the signs
GOV.UK have created a list of things to look for and contact numbers if you are worried about someone.
Examples of DVA
- Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, threats of physical or sexual violence)
- Isolation from friends and family
- Psychological and/or emotional abuse (name calling, blaming, gaslighting)
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Tech abuse (checking or controlling your devices, sending threatening texts)
- Financial or economic abuse (controlling your bank account, credit card or shopping decisions)
- Harassment and stalking
Real stories
Mel B, singer & author
Mel was in a ten-year abusive marriage; it left her with low self-esteem and feeling suicidal. She thought she was all alone and didn’t think anyone would be able to understand her situation, but then she met other survivors with similar experiences.
The abuse began with her partner covertly forcing her to wear certain things that he wanted her to wear. It reached a point where Mel didn’t even know what colours she liked any more, because those choices were taken away from her. She is now in a happy and healthy relationship and is an ambassador for Women’s Aid.
Stories of hope - Wendy
“I felt I was trapped, I had a 2 year old daughter and knew we had to escape or we’d both be dead. I was subjected to almost every form of abuse and, at one point, I felt suicide was my only way out.
My final straw came when I woke up in the night to see him getting into my daughters cot – I knew we had to escape. I spoke to my parents and told them of my situation and without hesitation, they told me we could go to theirs. I confided in one friend and they helped me, there is always someone who will help in this situation. With coercive control, you will be made to think nobody will care or believe you – that is wrong, there is always someone there for you. Nobody has the right to make another feel this way.
You are enough and you deserve to live a happy life.”
Surviving domestic abuse
Leslie Morgan Steiner is a survivor of domestic violence. In this video, she talks to Unfiltered Stories about how she found herself stuck in an abusive relationship and how she found the strength to get herself out.
Watch her inspiring video on Youtube.
Find advice and sources of support for other aspects of women’s mental health.
Learn more about how to have a conversation with someone at risk of suicide.
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