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Women's Suicide Prevention Hub
Suicide rates in women are rising. Between 2012 and 2022 ONS data recorded a 32% rise in women and young girls suicides. Women are also twice as likely to attempt suicide than men.
This is a subject that can often be overlooked.
We are dedicated to empowering women and their loved ones to overcome the stigma and find the help they need to thrive.
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Suicide is very complex and can often be a culmination of risk factors that have built up over time. These pages address some of the biggest suicide risk factors for women. This list is not comprehensive, as women can also be affected by issues related to finances, relationships and isolation, bullying and stress at work, among other factors.
Find help now
If you are having suicidal thoughts and need help now, please use the links below.
Emergency services
If you or someone you know is experiencing a life-threatening crisis.
- Call 999 (UK)
- Call 112 (most of Europe)
- Find emergency numbers for other countries
Stay Alive app
Download our NHS recommended app if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or concerned about someone. There are over 800 resources to help you stay safe for now.
Samaritans
Contact the Samaritans if you feel you are in a crisis.
- Call 116 123
- Email jo@samaritans.org
- Visit the website
Contact your GP
NAPAC offer free, confidential support.
- Find your GP contact details
- If your GP practice is closed or unavailable, call NHS 111
- Visit the NHS 111 website
Shout
If you prefer to talk to someone over text message, Shout offer confidential support 24/7.
- Text the word SHOUT to 85258
- Visit the website
Brighton Women's Centre
Brighton Women’s Centre is a Sussex-wide resource for women in all stages of life who need help and support.
Suicide in women: myths and facts
Some phrases and assumptions around suicide add to the weight of social stigma and shame. This can be even more damaging to women who may be going through difficult times in their relationships, careers and physical or mental health.
The spread of these stereotypes and misunderstandings can lead to women struggling with suicidal ideation. They may see it as confirmation that they are misunderstood, inadequate, alone or worthless. This makes them more likely to struggle in silence and can increase the chance that they will act on their suicidal thoughts.
Here are some of the most harmful women’s suicide myths debunked. Click each myth to see the real facts and explanations.
Myth: Pregnant women are the least likely to attempt suicide
Myth: New mothers are the least likely to attempt suicide
Myth: Asking a woman about suicide might introduce them to the idea and encourage them to do it
Myth: If a person is serious about killing themselves then there's nothing you can do
Myth: Women who threaten suicide are just seeking attention
Myth: Most suicides happen with no warning
Myth: People thinking about suicide are insane or mentally ill
Myth: Women who die by suicide are selfish and take the easy way out
Myth: Once a woman is suicidal, they will always remain suicidal
Myth: Pregnant women are the least likely to attempt suicide
Fact: Women are still at risk of suicidal ideation even whilst pregnant
Many believe that pregnancy is one of the happiest periods of a woman’s life. This may be true for a lot of pregnancies, but there are many people who struggle with their mental health and experience suicidal ideation during their pregnancy.
During pregnancy, factors such as anxiety, hormonal changes, depression and feelings of a loss of ‘self’ can make women even more vulnerable to suicidal thoughts. Screenings and mental health checks during the perinatal period could help to identify some of these issues early, but it is not yet common practice.
Find out more about why the perinatal period is a risk factor.
Myth: New mothers are the least likely to attempt suicide
Fact: Many mothers experience post-partum depression. If left untreated, this can lead to suicide
Post-partum depression affects just over 17% of new parents worldwide, and new mothers with post-partum depression are twice as likely to attempt to take their own lives than those without. This is different from the ‘Baby Blues’.
Many new parents will avoid talking about these feelings for fear of being seen as a ‘bad parents’ or ‘uncaring mother’ by healthcare providers, as there is still a lot of stigma around what is usually perceived as a blissful time in life.
Fear of how they will be treated if they open up can even lead them to believe that their child might be taken away. It is important to understand just how scary and isolating this can be, and how this fear can add to the likelihood of acting on suicidal thoughts.
Read more about post-partum depression as a suicide risk factor.
Myth: Asking a woman about suicide might introduce them to the idea and encourage them to do it
Fact: Asking someone if they’re suicidal could protect them
Talking about suicide not only reduces the stigma, but also allows individuals to seek help, rethink their options.
It is safer to ask about suicide than not to ask about suicide. Conversations and language around suicide do need to be carefully managed. Asking someone if they’re having suicidal thoughts can give them permission to tell you how they feel and let them know they are not a burden.
Myth: If a person is serious about killing themselves then there's nothing you can do
Fact: Many suicidal crises can be relatively short-lived
Most people who feel suicidal do not want to end their lives, they just want the situation they are in or the pain to end. This can be a short, but very intense, period.
The distinction may seem small, but it is very important. It’s why talking through other options at the right time is so vital. Safely intervene to keep people safe until mental health services can take over.
Myth: Women who threaten suicide are just seeking attention
Fact: Anyone talking about suicide needs serious attention
They are in pain and may feel hopeless. Most people who die by suicide have talked about it first – we should always take comments very seriously that indicate they don’t want to be here anymore, or people are better off without them.
Women are more likely to attempt suicide, but tend to choose less immediate and violent methods, leading some people to believe that they were ‘attention-seeking’ as they did not end up taking their lives.
Do not dismiss a suicide attempt as simply being an attention-gaining device. It is likely the this attention is needed and may well save their lives.
Myth: Most suicides happen with no warning
Fact: Warning signs, verbally or behaviourally, precede most suicides
Most women struggling with thoughts of suicide try to communicate that they need help, sometimes at an unconscious level.
Many women who are suicidal may only show warning signs to those closest to them. These loved ones may not recognise what’s going on, which leads to the idea that it was ‘sudden’ or ‘unexpected’.
It is important to be alert to potential warning signs and be prepared to ask about suicide if you are concerned for someone else. These subtle warning behaviours and comments can easily be missed or spread across several people.
Myth: People thinking about suicide are insane or mentally ill
Fact: One in five people have thought about suicide at some time in their life
Many people who die by suicide have struggled with their mental health, and others whose mental state meets psychiatric criteria for mental illness and who need psychiatric help. At the same time, some people experiencing suicidal ideation have no history of mental problems at all.
Suicide is complex and it is often most likely a combination of individual, relationship, community, and societal risk factors that can increase the possibility that a person will attempt suicide.
Myth: Women who die by suicide are selfish and take the easy way out
Fact: Women who attempt suicide are suffering with deep feelings of exhausting despair, hopelessness, worthlessness, or other overwhelming feelings
They often feel they are a burden to others. They may believe that suicide is the only way out to end their intense suffering and pain.
Describing these feelings as ‘selfish’ may make someone less confident in opening up about their feelings and cause them to internalise their struggle for even longer.
Myth: Once a woman is suicidal, they will always remain suicidal
Fact: Active suicidal ideation is often short-term and situation specific
Suicide is often an attempt to end painful emotions and thoughts. Once these thoughts dissipate, or a situation changes, so will the suicidal ideation. Research shows that the most intense periods of feeling suicidal will change after around 24 hours and suicidal thoughts can be interrupted with timely intervention.
Some women, however, will continue to have times in their life when they consider suicide and need extra support. For example, someone with a mental illness may require ongoing clinical or medical treatment to reduce the symptoms and feelings.
Individuals with suicidal thoughts and attempts can live a long, successful life.
How to have a conversation about suicide
Timing is key. Asking about suicide is an important conversation and needs to be treated with respect.
You might think the best time to ask about suicide is when someone is down or upset, but they are more likely to close down and not want to talk at this point. Instead, ask when they’re having a good day and likely feeling more talkative.
Do remember that someone’s internal monologue might be telling them that don’t deserve help, they’re not good enough, or are a failure. Allow them to open up and direct the conversation – don’t ambush them or make them feel targeted.
Talking in a place where someone feels unsafe or rushed may affect what they say. Your choice may depend on the specific risks or situations the person may be experiencing.
1. At home or in a safe, quiet and private place
It’s easier to talk to someone when they are comfortable and not worried about showing emotions or speaking their mind. Remember that for some women, being near or at home does not feel safe.
Take your time. Avoid trying to talk during mealtime or late in the day. Instead find a time when it’s just the two of you and you can talk as long as you need without having to rush off.
2. While doing something you enjoy together
Many people find it easier to talk while doing an activity.
Many women may feel less under pressure if they don’t have to maintain eye contact. It can also be helpful to focus on an activity as this gives you both space to pause, reflect and gather thoughts without awkward silences.
Remember to choose an activity that they will find enjoyable and avoid tasks that may feel like chores or errands.
3. On a walk or in a quiet place
You could suggest going for a walk in a quiet or familiar place. Nature can often help people to feel more relaxed, but it is important to check first.
Women who do not feel safe at home may also feel anxiety in more public spaces. Concerns about letting others know their whereabouts may also affect a woman’s willingness to do something unplanned or out of their usual schedule. See if you can schedule some time together.
Remember the four Cs: appear Calm, Confident, Consistent and Compassionate, however you feel inside.
Talking to someone about how they are can be difficult, especially if you believe they are struggling. You might not know what to say, or feel worried about how they will react.
It’s important to show that you are genuinely concerned about a woman’s experiences.
Here are some suggestions on how to start the conversation:
“How are you feeling?”
“What has been the best and worst part of your day today?”
“It seems like you’ve been struggling lately. Are you comfortable talking with me about what’s going on?”
“I’ve noticed you’ve had a few down days lately, can you let me know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking about?”
- “If you are having feelings that are hard deal to with or scared of, you can always talk to me. I won’t be upset, I just want to listen.”
It is important to be direct, clear and avoid euphemism.
This might be difficult, so remember: you are asking the question because it is important to know the answer.
- Have you been thinking about suicide?
- Do you feel like you don’t want to be in this world anymore?
- Do you want to close your eyes and never wake up?
- Do you have any plans on hurting or killing yourself?
When they answer, listen with empathy and without judgement. You will find advice on what to say and what not to say further down this page.
Be careful not to look shocked or upset as this may cause them to close up or be less honest. Be prepared to listen, even if it’s hard to hear, and try to stay calm.
What to say
Here are some ways to keep the conversation going and opportunities to offer hope, support and empathy to women who are struggling.
It can be very hard to ask these questions; remember it is always better to ask about suicide and get a definitive answer than to avoid asking and miss an opportunity to connect someone with urgent support.
Reassurance and giving them time
- “Just take your time, there’s no rush.”
- “I know talking about this can be difficult. I’m here to listen.”
- “You can tell me anything.”
- “I want to listen and understand.”
Reassure them that they matter to you, you’re here to listen and support and you don’t need to rush off.
Many people who feel suicidal will feel worthless, especially if their struggles have been brushed off or downplayed, which can happen with a lot of experiences affecting women. Showing them you are prioritising them and the conversation will mean a lot.
Asking how long these feelings have been present
- “How long have you been feeling this way?”
- “Have you felt this way before?”
Ask how and when their feelings changed and, if they have experienced this before, what happened last time.
Reassure them that they won’t feel this way forever, and that the very intense feelings can and will change with time.
Asking about plans for suicide
- “Have you got a plan? What is it?”
- “Have you thought about how you would kill yourself?”
- “Have you thought about when you would kill yourself?”
- “Have you taken any steps to get the things you would need to carry out your plan?”
- “Have you thought about how you might do this?”
This is important.
People who have made a suicide plan are at more risk. Let them know that you care about them and that they aren’t alone.
If they start talking about the immediate future or plans for that day, it is important to stay with them and seek further help.
Having empathy
- “I can’t imagine how painful this is for you, but I would like to try to understand.”
- “I’m here, we can find a way to get through this.”
Empathise with them. Be aware you don’t know exactly how they feel and may never experience or understand what is going on in their mind.
Remind them that you have the time to listen and that you want to hear them.
Offering hope
- “You’re not alone, lots of people feel like this.”
- “I’m glad you’re telling me how you feel.”
- “You know, one in five people have thoughts like yours and recover from them, it is okay to feel like this.”
Try to offer hope and context – they are not alone, others feel this way and there is a lot of help available for them. Remind them that people can find ways to get through tough times and that you will help them.
Talking about the future
- “What reasons do you have for staying alive?”
Ask about their reasons for living and dying and listen to their answers. Focus on people they care about, and who care about them. People are less likely to attempt suicide when they have positive future events to focus on.
Keep asking open-ended questions – this means there isn’t a yes or no answer, but an opportunity for them to speak more, continuing the conversation.
Thanking them for opening up
- “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
Encourage them to seek help that they are comfortable with. This could be a doctor, therapist, counsellor or one of the many resources listed for women on this page.
How can I support your work and help women at risk?
Donate or fundraise
By donating, sponsoring, or fundraising for us, you can help save lives. We are careful with your money, with around 85p of every £1 going straight into our life-saving work.
You can make a difference. By supporting us, you will be giving more people the tools to identify warning signs, talk to others about suicide risk factors and issues affecting women, and signpost lifesaving resources to help reduce the number of lives lost to suicide each year.
Train with us
Our training courses are designed to equip you with the tools and knowledge needed to safely and effectively help people at risk of suicide. Visit each course page to find out more.
ASIST
This two-day workshop provides participants with practical skills and knowledge to effectively recognise those who may be at risk of suicide and conduct a suicide intervention. Learn more.
Caring Connections
This expansive workshop equips participants with the knowledge and skills to identify and effectively support those at risk of suicide within a trauma-informed framework. Learn more.
Real Talk
This interactive workshop equips learners with the necessary skills to recognise and support those at risk of suicide. Learn more.
Suicide First Aid: Understanding Suicide Intervention
This in-depth one day course teaches the necessary skills and knowledge to recognise individuals showing signs of suicidal ideation. Learn more.
Suicide Prevention in the Context of Domestic Abuse
These training options cover different levels and with attention to different parties. Visit the below pages to learn more about each level.
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